Early this week, 24th of March.
AA and I decided to know each other. To learn about each other from the early phase. How it happened?
Initially, i was planning to ignore and walk away. But i never understand why it is so hard and difficult. A situation occurred, and i end up making a confession to him. He accepted and agreed!
He didnt really have that feeling yet, but he agreed to learn to know each other first. Im okay with it.
Im scared and afraid for a new relationship too, but we are developing in a cool and steady pace.
O Allah, i dont know if AA is the man who is destined to be with me nor i know that im the woman destined to be with him. All that i know, i believed in you Ya Rabb.
Guide us towards you.
In the Name of Allah,
Dear Allah,
Alhamdullilah last two weeks i have ended my relationship with him. At first, everything went well. He didnt really approved it bcs he wanted to wait for me, he said. But, for me at this particular time i wanted to end this going-nowhere-relationship.
In any relationship, it takes two to tango. So by means, having me withdrawing from that relationship it shows that there is no more relationship between us. I feel bad, initiating a breakup is bad. But, i believe that is the correct decision and i still believe it is till now.
Ah, about my crush. Alhamdulillah, i still have a bit of attraction towards him but im controlling it my best way. For now, im focusing on preparing for a marriage. Im trying to learn everything it takes to be a good spouse and a good mother for my children.
I know i should just focus on studying, but I believe no times should be wasted from preparing to be a good mother. There is so much more to learn, to be patience, to be loving and kind.
I bought books, and watch youtube and everyday i have a new insights on marriage. Which makes me more eager to learn and prepare.
O Allah, guide me for you are the best guidance. Protect me from any distraction and any lingering feelings (romantic feelings) from any man cause im preparing for a serious relationship.
O Allah, let me focus on me and my study. Please, do not make me astray from you Ya Rabb.
Ameen Ya Rabb.
In The Name of Allah
Im currently at my university, Alhamdulillah. It is such a great pleasure that i finally came back to my Uni.
Im still struggling to move on from liking that man, and yes i didn't end my past relationship too.
I will try to end everything, from my crush and also from my past relationship.
Yes, i think it is for the better since no one seems to like me anymore. haha
Thanks Allah, for the ujian. I understand that I will do better without any relationship with any man right now.
O Allah,
Find me a good spouse for me, which will bring me to your Firdaus.
