I am FOCUSING ON ME :)

In the Name of Allah, 
Dear Allah, 
Alhamdullilah last two weeks i have ended my relationship with him. At first, everything went well. He didnt really approved it bcs he wanted to wait for me, he said. But, for me at this particular time i wanted to end this going-nowhere-relationship. 
In any relationship, it takes two to tango. So by means, having me withdrawing from that relationship it shows that there is no more relationship between us. I feel bad, initiating a breakup is bad. But, i believe that is the correct decision and i still believe it is till now. 
Ah, about my crush. Alhamdulillah, i still have a bit of attraction towards him but im controlling it my best way. For now, im focusing on preparing for a marriage. Im trying to learn everything it takes to be a good spouse and a good mother for my children. 
I know i should just focus on studying, but I believe no times should be wasted from preparing to be a good mother. There is so much more to learn, to be patience, to be loving and kind. 
I bought books, and watch youtube and everyday i have a new insights on marriage. Which makes me more eager to learn and prepare. 

O Allah, guide me for you are the best guidance. Protect me from any distraction and any lingering feelings (romantic feelings) from any man cause im preparing for a serious relationship. 
O Allah, let me focus on me and my study. Please, do not make me astray from you Ya Rabb. 
Ameen Ya Rabb.